Snarky Teenagers

 

My older daughter, who has been a teenager all of three days now, announced in the ccar today that "Mom doesn't have or do a job."

When I pointed out that I had been working very hard, since losing my job in June, to try to make a living as an artist, she responded with "Well sitting in your craft room with glitter and paper isn't really a job."

Arghh! I told her it hurt, and that beyond the creative things I did, I took care of her laundry, the cleaning, packing her lunches for school, being her taxi driver, etc. And again, all I got was "Well yeah, but that isn't really a job."

Is it possible for a mother and daughter to survive the teen years together?

It really hurt and still does, especially when I am trying so hard to make an income in economic times that I have so little control over.

*End of Rant*

Comments

[PG]

Sadly this is probably something she won't realise until she has to fend for herself - personally I would be inclined to let her start now, or at least a week - just to show her that it is, actually, a full time job just being a home maker, let alone everything else. Keep your chin up and remember it won't last forever.

[Erica]

Aww... Well I know exactly where you are coming from! I too am trying to transition (being unemployed) into making some kind of career from my crafts. People don't take it seriously because they see it as "playing" rather than work. I wish they could understand how much "work" goes into playing!!

As for your daughter--the sooner that she learns (and has to take on her own responsibilities the better--and the more that she will learn to appreciate you!) When I was 9 my "job" (which I didn't get paid for) was to do _everyone's_ laundry in the house every week,clean the bathroom and do the dishes for every meal. I think that helped me a lot growing up to take and accept responsibility. (I hated doing the chores but it was good for me).

Maybe you could try adding one of those for your daughter?

If she's a teen now, she's old enough (IMO) to make her own lunches and her laundry. If she complains you should tell her it's good practice for her being in college!

PS. I really like your blog layout!

[Beth]

I get this from Ian a couple times a month. "I'm working three jobs and it's not like you're bringing in any money." Usually, my ranting back about my various jobs and the check that does arrive every month usually shuts him up. In my rant I tossed in Baby sitter and Nanny. He said, "You don't do that anymore."
I gave him the LOOK and said, I am married to you, so yes, I do them.

[Diane]

I've been at home for years. I'm lucky that we can basically afford this, although it's not easy.

Does your teen do her own laundry? Clean her own room? We found that insisting on such chores made our kids realize that all such ARE work.

Perhaps you need to have a kindness rule about speech, too. But teens are notorious for blurting things out.

Wait this out. Wait this out. Wait this out.

[PG]

Hello again! If you email me from my blog profile, so that I can reply, I'll put your hubby out of his misery; I don't put out precisely where we live, for security reasons, but am more than happy to share it with you privately. :)

I hope you've sorted that daughter of yours out since I was last here!

[Joyce]

I've read all of the comments, Mary and agree with most of what's been said. I went through some very difficult years with my daughter but I held firm. I feel, as parents, it is our job to help our kids be independant. Both my daughter and son learned to do their own laundry from age 13. (After constantly being tired of heaps of clothes on the floor and 3-4 changes a day. This quickly stopped when they had to do their own.) My children are now in their 30's and have both said, "we know you were hard on us but we're glad or we would never have learned to take care of ourselves." Some of what your daughter is going through is that mother-daughter competition thing...very normal but frustrating. I love the quote "Having teenagers helps us to understand why some animals eat their young"! Good luck Mary! Your peg dolls are so beautiful and I love your little Halloween house...
~Joyce

[Jane]

I really appreciate all the feedback, support and encouragement. You know she has her good days and bad days and that was a bad one in my book. I guess it is the hormones and mood swings. Since then she has told me she really likes some of the things I am selling and even asked if I would make her a necklace like one of the ones I am selling.

Erica - It is good to know I am not in this alone. And yes, I am starting her on more responsibility and chores.

Diane - Thank you, you are right, this too shall pass! :)

PG - Yes, I think so. Well I hope so!

Joyce - Your comment about eating young made me laugh. Thank you! I had not thought of it as a competition but I can now see that aspect and it makes sense. I suppose it is part of them moving and getting ready to strike out on their own in a few years and trying to find their independence.

[Mary Pat Carlin]

Oh Jane, I am just sending you a virtual hug and good thoughts. I have no advice. It does help me to remember how glad I was to be a mother and how much fun we had before she hit her teens.

[Jane]

Thank you Mary, she has been better. I guess that is how teens are. One day they love and want hugs, the next they want their independence and can't deal with all the emotions of puberty. I am over the hurt. She even admitted she liked some of the things and asked me to make her a fox pendant.

[mary]

Late last week I heard some wonderful news. The top Four MOST Trusted Professions are:

# 4 is Clergy
#3 is pharmacists
#2 is Firemen
DRUM ROLE PLEASE!!! **** fireworks,*****^^^*%%&%!+**& (my fireworks via key board)

NUMBER ONE IS

MOM!!!!

I forgot to show this to my kids!

With Kindness,
Mary

[Wyldhare]

LOL! I will have to share this with my kids! Go moms!